I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
