I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
