I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
