She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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