Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
