I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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