normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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