I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
