the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
