ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize