you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
