he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
