Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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