i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
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If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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