You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
