they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
