Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize