Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I think your dad took our porno
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
