She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
as a side note pls kill me
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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