A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
