New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
