I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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