she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
