if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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