he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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