tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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