Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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