My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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