But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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