i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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