The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
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She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
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I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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