Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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