Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
