we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
