Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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