Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
