tell your sister to shave her snatch
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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