I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
