I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
