when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
