I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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