i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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