Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
