theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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