then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
