My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
