Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
