Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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