The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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