I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
