he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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