When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
