You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
