I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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