And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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