It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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