Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize