dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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