absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
