actually, I'm a sock model
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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