Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
