So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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