Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
