yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
