Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize